
Kitchen Table Talks
Short audio talks for a fresh perspective
Two voices, Charlotte and Neil, talk one parenting problem through, the way a friend would over a cuppa. They are recorded audio talks, not live calls or therapy. Answer a few optional questions and the talks are picked around what you find hard. Most take about two minutes.
Sample talk: "I feel like I get it all wrong."- Even parents of securely attached kids are only in tune with their child about a third of the time.
- The misses are normal. What counts is noticing and coming back.
Try this
"I was busy before and didn't listen properly. I'm listening now."
Then: give them your full attention for a minute.
Listen to the full sample (2 minutes). It only plays when you press play.
Read the transcript
Neil: Can I admit something? Some days I feel like I'm getting it all wrong. I miss what they need, I'm short with them, I'm on my phone.
Charlotte: Oh, Neil. You're in very good company. And I've got some good news for you.
Neil: Please.
Charlotte: Researchers who watch parents and little ones really closely found that even parents of securely attached kids are only in tune with their child about thirty percent of the time.
Neil: Thirty? That's, that's way less than I thought.
Charlotte: Me too, when I first heard it. The rest of the time, there are little misses. They want to play, you're making dinner. They're upset, and you didn't notice straight away.
Neil: So what makes the difference, if it's not getting it right?
Charlotte: It's what happens after the miss. Noticing, coming back, putting it right. That's what kids learn from. That things can go wrong between people who love each other, and get fixed.
Neil: Hmm. So the misses are part of it.
Charlotte: They're part of it. Some research even suggests that responding to around half of a baby's signals can be enough to build that secure feeling. Not every single one.
Neil: That takes a lot of pressure off.
Charlotte: It should. Trying to be perfect can make parents more anxious, and kids pick up on that. What they need is a parent who's good enough. Warm, there most of the time, and willing to come back.
Neil: Good enough. I can do good enough.
Charlotte: You already are.
Neil: So what do I actually do, after one of those misses?
Charlotte: Keep it simple. Go back. Something like, I was busy before and I didn't listen properly. I'm listening now. Then give them your full attention, even just for a minute.
Neil: That's it?
Charlotte: That's it. Short and real.
Neil: Okay. Notice the miss, go back, listen.
Charlotte: And let go of perfect. Your child doesn't need a perfect parent. They need you, coming back, again and again.
Free to try: starter talks marked Free in the app. Notes, the try-this and the line to say are saved for later.










